The shape of zero

During meditation recently, my Guide and Teacher, Metatron, invited me into the energy of his heart. I stepped inside and found myself whizzing through a giant golden energy tunnel lined by millions and millions of interconnected symbols, constructed of white light, emblazoned all around me.  These symbols, I understood, were representations of all of history, all of knowledge, all of the comprehensive understanding of Highest Source through the experiences of the combined efforts and existence of everything. I tried to see and retain, but there was so much. I felt my eyes tracking back and forth, up and down, as I sped past. Then instead of trying to retain all of it, I simply focused on symbols here and there. When I looked at them, zooming past, they flashed brighter and then dark, like a film negative, as if I was taking snapshots with my eyes and mind to store the information for later.

On and on I went, so rapidly I could feel the motion in my body. And then I began to slow. The symbols presented themselves for longer, spread further apart as I did.

I came upon the Flower of Life. And there I paused. “Ah. That’s it,” I thought.

But then I moved on.

I came upon the Seed of Life. “Ah. That’s it,” I thought.




But then again, I moved on.

Then I came to Metatron’s Cube.



At each point of this journey, traveling along toward The Center, and tracing all knowledge and understanding in reverse order, I found myself with a deep sense of understanding of the process of composing a life, of composing life.

And then I came face-to-face, heart-to-heart with one pure illuminated circle. There it was at the center, hovering and glowing bright.

Metatron showed me the circle at the source of all after I passed through the symbols and symbols and symbols that represented the existence and knowing of all time. And then, to teach me more, he simply tilted that circle on its “side” to change my perspective, and to demonstrate to me that the circle is an eternal spiral, with no beginning and no end. There simply is no full stop.

Our “chicken or egg” philosophical discussions must be a great amusement to our friends in the Spirit Realm.

But, we as humans, crave a beginning. As a whole, we find it hard to fathom eternal, and that’s mostly just the comprehension of never-ending. We find it even more challenging to comprehend the always that came before. We really really really want a starting point. Give us solid ground to stand on. Give us a foundation. Then we can run with it. Without that, we’ve got nothing.



Yesterday I read this article. Nothing Matters: How the Invention of Zero Helped Create Modern Mathematics, by Ittay Weis of the University of Portsmouth, published in Universal-Sci. I loved it. Here is one story of how we humans invented zero, and how it helped us understand. The symbolic naming of “nothing” changed everything ever after. Zero? It’s only just a human interpretation. That is all.

Really, there is no zero. It just makes it easier for us to compute if we have somewhere from which to start and, then, to hold our place.

Everything is like this. We live in a world of construct. Our existence is construct. When we wade through it all, it’s key-turning and Oh!-inducing to remember that all of it is construction, invention, interpretation, compilation,  reinterpretation – made comprehensible to us humans (and to other beings in their own way) through symbols, language, and communication. At the heart of it all, through all the noise, is the simple and pure eternal energy – represented, again for our understanding, in the shape of a perfect circle. No beginning and no end.

Isn’t it interesting, the shape of zero?

So much to learn in the not knowing


For so many people I know, this Spring is a time of change. In a big way. It’s like the Universe gathered us all together on a massive oriental rug, asked us to mingle, and then, just when we were getting comfortable, yanked that rug right out from under us, sending us all flying.

Not that the Universe would ever be so rude, right?

The interesting thing is that, for many of us, this drastic mix-up is causing deep self-reflection—like the slo-mo life review that we hear about from people who’ve been in a serious accident or who’ve had a near-death experience. Here we are, passing in seeming stop-motion through the unknown to the unknown, and we’re thinking, thinking, thinking: “Where am I going to land? What am I going to do? What is going to happen?” 

Sometimes, when things are changing, we get worried. We get anxious. We get mad. Sometimes all we really want to do is go back to the way things were before, to what was easy, to what we know. We just want footing. A little solid ground. Is that so much to ask? 

Going back is fine, if that is what you choose. But consider this…

What will be new may just be better. 

I recently worked with a woman who, as part of her healing, was focusing on control. She wanted to stop trying to control her life and others’ “for good” and to let go of outcomes to live more presently, peacefully, and lovingly. In her regression sessions, her Spirit Guide’s message to her was consistent: “Let go. All is well.” 

It wasn’t “all will be well,” mind you. It was present tense: “All is well.”

This was hard advice for my client. “But I want to know how this is going to go,” she laughed at herself. “And I want to know now!” 

“I know,” said her Spirit Guide, “but there’s so much to learn in the not knowing.”

That made me smile. Not only was it perfect for my client, it was perfect for me. And everyone else I know who is in the throes of life transition. 

Nothing is sacred in all-shifting change, except, perhaps, change. And when the figurative ground heaves and you go flying, it’s often outright impossible to know where you will land. It is even sometimes hard to know when you will even stand again. But you will land. And you will stand. You know this.

So in the transition, find peace. Use the time well (it is moving in slo-mo, after all.) Think about where you’ve been and where you want to be. Reflect and project. Dream. Decide what in your life works for you and what doesn’t, and then choose more of what does. Manifest it. Trust. Be open.

This is what we can learn in the not knowing.

And remember, what will be new may just be better. 

Let go. All is well. 

Photo Credit:

Shine United


There are times in my life when a theme comes up all over the place and sticks around until I pay attention. I consider these to be messages, seeds maybe — perhaps planted by my spirit guide. Or, maybe I’ve sent them to myself — perhaps according to the plan I helped design and agreed to execute before coming into this life. Whatever they are, when I actually have the wherewithal to recognize them, I think of them as gifts.

This go round the message is: “You are light. Shine! Shine united.”

Yesterday, I went for a beautiful run on a snowy, mostly packed trail in the mountains near my home. As I do when I run alone, I was listening to music. This is less to preoccupy my mind than to focus it. It helps me find the meditative state that I love so much when I run. Some of my greatest revelations and spirit conversations have taken place while I’ve been powering along a mountain trail. (This was the subject of my essay, Ghost Run, in the book: Tales From Another Mother Runner. You can also listen to the podcast of my conversation with the Mother Runners.) I was listening to Spotify, to the weekly mixtape of personalized music they serve up each Monday called Discover Weekly. That means that this was not a playlist that I made, but one that the master DJs of the app algorhythmicked up for me based on the music I like and listen to. The songs played out like my own stream of consciousness and got me right where I wanted to be: physically moving and spiritually open. Then, on a particularly deep section of trail that caused me to slow down and post-hole my way through, the song “Scare Away the Dark” by Passenger came on. It stopped me cold for a second. I just breathed hard and listened.

Sing, sing at the top of your voice
Love, without fear in your heart
Feel, feel like you still have a choice
If we all light up we can scare away the dark

When I picked up the pace again, “Spring to Come” by the John Butler Trio rang through.

Out of the darkness, only light can come
After a lonely long night comes the sun.

Then, as I reached the summit, a deeply moving instrumental filled me up. It was like my own personal soundtrack, exactly matched to who I am and what I was doing. It resonated through me like my it was coming from my own heart and bouncing off the walls of the inside of my skin. It wasn’t until I got back to the car at the trailhead that I looked to see what that song was. It was “On the Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter.

I heard them all. I paid attention. Hmm, “Ok,” I thought. “I’m listening.”

Today, again while running, I was tuned in to Richard Martini reading his book “The Flipside.” (I like the book and recommend it, though if I could do it over, I’d opt to read it, not listen. He narrates the audiobook himself and the variable quality is distracting.) In today’s chapter, Martini shares a Life Between Lives session between a therapist named Scott Detamble and a client named “Thomas.” Thomas says:

We’re poised to make a huge jump in consciousness and it’s happening already among us. I’m just one of the workers working on that…It’s a shift in our DNA, awakening parts of our apparatus that have been closed down. When we come into these bodies, we shut down much of our awareness and our abilities to be encapsulated. And yet there’s much in these bodies we can draw upon and be open to. As a species, we’re evolving, and it takes little interventions and many people working on many levels to make that happen. There are many light beings here, even if they’re not aware that they’re aware, they’re aware.

Being a light being and animal, we’ve had so much strife in our animalness, struggling back and forth, yet we’re driven by it and we can’t help it. Only when we tune into our higher self can we let the animal be and it’s no longer driven with out of control passions… We bring great joy to all that is. It’s a lot of work, but it’s also a lot of fun.

During the session, Thomas’ spirit guide Redeem speaks directly:

This generation now, the beings that are incarnated now, the beings that will live now, the beings that will pass in the next 80 years or so, are going to instrumental in the shifting of this planet…

Thomas needs to have this awakening on the conscious level and go forth from here… [He] needs to align with those communities that are around him, that are also about the same thing… Light workers, such as himself, who are here to see the shift in the human species. It has been foretold for at least a generation. You’ve seen it in your pop cultures, your SONGS, seen it in your prophecies. All humans on this planet can feel it. It is a vibratory state. It is a yearning. This planet has gone through several shifts. We’re on the brink of another. That is the community of which we speak.

I take from all of this, in sum, that it’s time for light beings to unite. To shine and unite.

Funny that the message I kept hearing yesterday was “Shine on, little shiner.” Ok, ok. Maybe not so funny.

Before heading up to my office today to reflect and write, I made myself some peppermint tea. I opened the cupboard and looked in at my awesome selection of favorite-mugs-that-mean-something, wondering which one I should pick to suit my mood. There, right in front of me, was the one. A biz dev person from an ad agency sent it to me years ago trying to get my attention. I wasn’t in the market for an agency then, but the cup was cool so I kept it. Today, it took on a whole new meaning.

“Shine United,” it reads.

I’ve always loved it. Now I love it even more.

Well, ok. I got the message loud and clear. And I’ll do it. I will make the conscious effort to shine. To be the brightest me. To learn and heal and love and then to share, to unite.

But it’s not just about me, it’s about all of us. To shine, we have to first accept that we’re light. That’s sometimes hard. Sometimes it takes some polishing of the equipment. Sometimes it takes a little self-reflection before the full on self-projection. That’s OK. But as we get stronger and when we’re ready, it’s our time to turn on.

To unite, then, is to share. Maybe it’s to teach. Maybe it’s to heal. Maybe it’s to listen. Maybe it’s to set free. It will mean different things for each of us at different times. And that’s good. It won’t be boring. We have too much work to do for this being-of-brightness to be boring.

So let’s Shine United, shall we? Let’s shine on, speak up, and reach out. As “Thomas” said and I quoted above, “it’s a lot of work, but it’s also a lot of fun.”