Her Q my A, with reincarnation researcher Iris Giesler

After I posted the video of my daughter’s and my story of reincarnation, Iris Giesler, a German reincarnation researcher specializing in the past life memories of very young children, reached out to me to learn more. Since I have no hard evidence to empirically prove that my daughter is my biological mother reincarnated, I am not much use to researchers in this field, but it’s helpful to note the similarities that our case shows to others that have been proven — specifically in the “announcing dream” and in the spontaneous past life memories that included information of which I had no prior knowledge.

The full script of our interview follows.

Marit: I knew nothing about my biological mom other than the few things I mentioned, plus one more thing that I did not include in the story. Someone had made the demand (and I do not use that term lightly) that I be raised Roman Catholic. There was absolutely no identifying information in my file, but someone had gone to the extra trouble to include the very specific requisite that I be raised as a member of the Church. This, to me, says a lot. I was raised Catholic, by the way, with 16 years of private Catholic education, first grade through University.

I was never someone who was very interested in finding my biological family. I was never dissuaded by my parents, I just didn’t really have the desire. I believed, deep down, that I had a better life than I would have had, and that had had to be the intention of those who had been involved in deciding to let me go. Interestingly, my little brother is also adopted. Different mother, very different scenario. He also has never felt the desire to find his biological family, other than, like me, a passing “I wonder…” here and there.

My best friend growing up, who was a few months older than I and lived two doors down from me, was also adopted. She, on the other hand, was very driven to find out everything she could. When we were in our early 20s, she ended up dedicating a lot of time to finding not only her birth mother, but her birth father and all her siblings. The drama she brought into her life in doing this seemed completely unnecessary and very undesirable to me. She has great relationships now with her biological father and his family and her siblings on her mom’s side, and all’s well. It’s great for her. It just wasn’t something I wanted to do.

In college, I wrote an ethics paper looking into secrecy and adoption and coinciding laws in the U.S. in the 1970’s. I learned about the policy of “mutual consent.” Under mutual consent law or policy, one party may register information that they would like to know and would be fine with releasing to the state or agency. When the other party, at any time, registers in the same way and the pieces match, that information may be shared. If not, it may not. If I remember correctly, there were a few states in the union that had laws that upheld Mutual Consent. Minnesota was one of those states. Private agencies, it seems, could establish their own policies for adoption secrecy. I had been born in Minnesota so the hospital would fall under Mutual Consent law. Then, in what seemed to me more covering of any trace, I was taken to a Lutheran Social Services agency in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. For this paper, I contacted the agency. They also complied with mutual consent. At that time, in 1993, my case had not been touched since it was closed in 1972. I left it at that.

A few years later, I was working as a researcher for an international organization involved with fundraising. I had all sorts of tools available to me to find out information on people, if there was any to be found. I came across an adoption forum, while looking into something else. On this forum, you could register when and where you were born or gave birth, with any other identifying information you wished to share. I did, just for the hell of it. A few days later, a woman contacted me. She wanted to be sure of the date. She had given birth to a baby girl two weeks after my birthday in the same small town and had been looking for her daughter, whom she’d given up for adoption through the state of Minnesota. Nothing about our two cases matched. Knowing that this town was tiny, with only one high school (she had been high school-aged as well), I asked if she knew of anyone else in town who was pregnant when she was. She did not, and she confirmed that she would have if the girl had been at her school. I’d always suspected my mother had been sent away to be hidden from familial shame or disgrace or gossip, and this just solidified this assumption for me.

That is the last I ever, even half-heartedly, looked for her. I had always been taught to respect boundaries and personal decisions. Or maybe I just came to that naturally. I don’t know, exactly. I just felt this sense of respect and understanding and could very easily let it go.

At one point, when I was in my mid twenties, I had a dream in which it became clear to me that my biological mother was no longer alive. I don’t remember the details of it. I just know that after that, I knew she was dead and that I would not meet her. Now, knowing what I do, I believe that she had been gone a long time by then. It was simply a confirmation.

Iris: You described what we call an “announcing dream.” [Note: Read this article by Dr. James G. Matlock to learn more.] If I understand correctly you did not identify your future daughter as your biological mother reborn when you had the dream. Would you say this was because you had never met her and did not have any conscious memories of what she looked like? Can you say if she appeared the way your daughter looks like today or rather as your mother (might have) looked like when she was a young girl?

Marit: I did not recognize the girl at all, let alone as my biological mother. The only way I could have recognized her was to recognize the energy of her, which is how I knew her when I first held her. I have no idea what my biological mother looked like at any point in her life. The girl in the dream was my daughter at about age 4 or 5. I know this now, of course, but didn’t know it then. She, I think, has some resemblance to me, but looks a lot more like her dad. At the time, I would not have looked at her and thought, “she looks like me!”

In retrospect, the timing and message of the dream was completely stunning. Not that I was all that blown away by it at the time. I thought it was unusual, that is all. At the time, I was not married and had only just started dating the man that is now my husband. I was racing Ironmans and was very lean. I was not amenorrheic, but my body was maximally stressed on a regular basis. I was not physically primed to have a child. I had been going through a challenging time with birth control and had decided to get an IUD. I was running into all sorts of challenges both with insurance, at first, and then later with my body not accepting the foreign object. The pain was excruciating. My boyfriend (now husband) was in China working at the time, and I called him for moral support. In this conversation, he was the one to bring up the idea that maybe we should try to have a baby together, and to ultimately get married. I was very surprised, but happily so. I hadn’t thought about it, but when he said it, it just felt right.We decided then to hold off on the IUD until he was back in the country and could talk more in person. The dream came a few nights later. It served more than just to herald the child to come, it put me at ease. It gave me the message that it was ok and that this man was the right man with whom to bring a child into this world.

In the weeks that followed, I felt my body changing. I quite viscerally felt energy working on it and through it — both in waking state and while sleeping. I felt my womb change. I felt a strange buzzing throughout my bones and muscles. It was pleasant, but also very abnormal. Mind you, I am an athlete. I have a very strong sense of proprioception and know my body well. This was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before and I knew, thanks to the dream and also just a knowing, that it was preparing for a baby. I was not surprised in the least that the same day my husband and I decided to get married was the day I got pregnant. I knew immediately. My body knew. I felt it.

Iris: Do you have any confirmation that your biological mother actually had passed away before your daughter was born or is it something you felt intuitively when you identified your daughter as your mother reborn?

Marit: I spoke of this above. I had a dream in my 20s. That is when I knew. Given what my daughter told me when she was 4, however, I believe that she died not long (within a few years at the most) after she gave me up.

Iris: Your daughter made two highly specific statements about the life of your biological mother – that she initially wanted to give her child to a lady who sadly got cancer and that she lived with a man who gave her “bad medicine” (I suppose she meant drugs or alcohol?). Do you know if those were actual plans/events in your mother’s life?

Marit: No. I do not know. I was very surprised at the detail in this particular conversation. It was completely out of the blue, and none of it was anything I’d ever even imagined. I always assumed that she returned to Massachusetts to live out a normal life (tinged with a bit of sadness) after I was adopted. She did say that she chose not to go back to her parents after the people took me away. She did not forgive them. She was very angry. She also made a comment that the aforementioned man made her do things she didn’t want to do. I got the impression that he was her pimp, or that she was somehow involved in sex trafficking and he was her handler. I do not know this for sure. The “bad medicine,” yes, I took to be drugs. I don’t know how exactly she died. I didn’t force my daughter to go deeper into that memory. I simply listened and held her and let her tell me what she wanted to tell me.

Iris: Your daughter said she watched you grow up between life. Was she aware of any specific events in your life that happened before you were born? Sometimes children who have pre birth memories are aware of events that happened between the previous person’s death and the reincarnation, so this would not be unusual.

Marit: I never prompted her to speak about anything that she was not offering me voluntarily. I didn’t want to taint her memories at all. She did not speak about specific events in my life from my own growing up. She did, however, show an uncanny adult perspective on my mom, her grandma, who was diagnosed bipolar and had grown quite desperate and challenging later in her life. I remember two times when I was very sad or upset about my mom’s behavior, and my daughter, at just two or three years old, stroked my hair and held me in a very motherly way, and said things like, “She’s doing the best she can.”

Iris: Had you discussed your biological mother with your daughter and told her you were convinced she was her in her previous life before she spontaneously talked about her memories?

Marit: No. She began mentioning things spontaneously when she was about two, as early as she could express herself clearly. I was surprised, but also not, considering the experience I had at her birth. I never prompted her and only ever asked open ended questions, like: “Really?” or “What else do you remember?”

After this had happened 2-3 times, I mentioned it to my husband and asked him not to dismiss her or direct her in any way. He was really great about it. Shortly after that, with no prompting on his part, she started sharing with him as well.

Iris: Did she say anything else in relation to the past life or the intermission period?

Marit: She did. I love to bake and she would often bake with me. She would say things like, “We used to have a mixer just like that one (a KitchenAid), but it was white.” Or “I liked making pies with grandma. For Christmas. We made them together. It was our special thing.”

She would play all the time in a little fort I made her behind the couch. She tucked maps back there, and a tea set, and other odds and ends. I’d hear her back there having long conversations with people that were incredibly detailed. At one point she recalled Jack Kennedy as a good man and a true leader. I don’t recall the words exactly. This particular conversation felt more like a re-enactment of one that she’d overheard between her parents and friends. (Remember, her parents were probably Boston Catholics, and Kennedy would have been a hero. She would have been around 9 years old when he was assassinated, and I wouldn’t be surprised if her family talked about him with respect and nostalgia in the years after his death.)

She also talked about other past lives that we shared together as mother and daughter. She would say things like, “Remember when I was your mommy and we XX?” I would say, no, I don’t remember, and she would go on telling me stories about things that we did together. I don’t recall any other time that she was my daughter in these stories, only ever my mother.

She did recall a time when she was my mother and we were healers of some sort. That work had been passed down and down through generations. She said that we were doing something like that in this life and that I am supposed to teach her what I do so that she can do it too.

There were lots of other little things. I cannot remember them all, sadly.

Iris: How old is your daughter now? Does she still speak about the past life?

Marit: She is 8, and no, she does not offer spontaneous memories anymore. They stopped when she was about five or five and a half. We still talk openly about reincarnation. This is easy to do considering my work. She shows a lot of interest in what I do. She is very spiritually open and has a deep understanding of the life of the soul. Sometimes now, though, I see her questioning what she’s always known because of what she hears at school from her friends. “They say there’s no reincarnation…” She talks openly with me about things that challenge her beliefs. It seems she likes having me as a sounding board.

Iris: Thank you a lot for patiently answering my questions!

Marit: My pleasure. Thanks for asking. It’s been an honor communicating with you.

At the time my daughter was sharing these memories with me, I did not know there were researchers out there who may be interested in our story. This, however, is a very active field of scientific investigation. If you are experiencing something similar, please contact me and I will connect you with Iris and others who are very interested in hearing your stories.

“I am still surprised how common supernatural experiences are,” Iris told me. “It is often a great relief for people to be able to talk about them!”